A COMPlETE HISTORY OF MY SEXUAL FAILURES Director: CHRIS WAITT U.K. 2008 COLOUR DOLBY DIGITAL STEREO 93 MIN. Book cinema tickets A SELF-DESCRIBED FAILED ROCK MUSICIAN WHO’S NEVER HAD AN ACTUAL JOB, THIRTYSOMETHING LONDONER CHRIS WAITT DISSECTS ANOTHER SHORTCOMING IN THIS SOMETIMES SCREAMINGLY FUNNY DOCUMENTARY. having been cut loose by his latest girlfriend after just three weeks, scruffy man-boy Waittperpetually unshaven, dressed like a teenager, sporting blond locks that aim for Kurt Cobain but look more like homeless Prince valiant decides he should make a film examining his quantity-high, quality-low romantic history. Calling a long list of exes, he’s surprised the vast majority refuse to participate. After long-suffering mom hilary digs up variably fond, pleading and furious old love letters (none of which he answered), it becomes clear why he’s left a wide swath of scorched dating earth: Waitt is terminally late, oblivious and immature. After absorbing considerable negative analysis, Waitt creates a MySpace page to attract new prospects, the most memorable being from ‘Mistress Maisie’, a dominatrix with her own dungeon. She decides what he needs is some harsh punishment for his crimes against womanhood, which leads to hijinks more hilarious and harrowing than Steve Carell’s chest waxing in The 40 Year Old Virgin. A comedy of humiliation and haplessnesswith a happy ending of sortsA Complete History shows Waitt willing to appear a complete (though endearing) ass. However, his moronic reaction shots are so perfect, and the film so brightly assembled that regardless of all outside editorial input, one guesses he’s not quite as dumb as he acts. Soft-peddled here is the fact that he’s directed several prize-winning shorts; not mentioned at all are prior acting gigs including a sizable role in last year’s smash Hot Fuzz.Dennis Harvey, ‘variety’. Director: CHRIS WAITT U.K. 2008 COLOUR DOLBY DIGITAL STEREO 93 MIN.